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[22 Feb 2007|09:50pm] |
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oh man, everything in life is so confusing right now. i have been so busy with school work and dance that all this stress is building up inside me. i dont have time for any kind of life right now. i feel like i dont even really have friends anymore...except for the ones i work with. its getting to be ridiculous. i feel like i need to drop at least one of my dance teams or work....or school (haha jk on that one)
i feel so stressed with the choices i have to make coming up. the first choice i must make is where to go to college...ASU or U of A. I got full rides and all my books paid for both schools, so money isnt a deciding issue.
then there is the decision of whether or not to live with my parents if i stay at ASU, in the dorms, or in a house with some friends who have asked me to live with them.
the next decision is what am i going to do with my life? ever since i was 3 i thought dancing would be my career in some form or another. whether it be teaching, choreographing, or performing. now im just not sure. if i dance i know i would want to perform and that just seems like an unrealistic goal to me. dance is such an unstable career. since my ankle will never be healed im afraid i could hurt it again. if i do that my entire career will be gone within seconds.what scares me is at the end of every night im already in pain because of dancing on it and it always swells. my dance teachers are really pushing me to stick with dance. they think i have what it takes and really think i can make it. i know they believe it because they are the type of people who just say the truth no matter how rude it may seem, but i still dont know. i feel like im not good enough to make it. yes im good at the studio i go to and yes im on the school dance team....but outside of gilbert there are thousands and thousands of people just as good as me and thousands and thousands who are far better. i just dont know anymore. its frustrating to know i have spent my entire life dedicated to dancing and there is a possibility that im about to throw that away.
if you read this then thank you for listening to me complain about my life that i shouldnt be complaining about at all. im sorry for rambling on
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[18 Jan 2007|05:49pm] |
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 happy |
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music |
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ben lee |
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i havent used this since july and that is a super long time!
anyways life is pretty amazing right now...super busy but amazing! the only thing that would make it even better is if i didnt have school...or at least not highschool!
how is everyone on livejournal doing these days?
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[18 Jul 2006|12:10am] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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the rocket summer- show me everything you got |
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what the heck is my problem? why cant i just commit to things? why am i afraid? i need to grow up, im 18 now. i need to put myself out there and take chances. i need to allow people in and share my feelings. i need to not think too deep into things and just enjoy it for what its worth at the moment.
all in all i need to not be so scared becuase what is the worst that could happen? nothing really
After all these things I've learned
bad things I do and don't deserve
can easily just shape my life
or shape the way I start to die
No, cause it's up to me
if I dwell much longer than I should
and I'll hold my tears for years thinkin' it's doing me good
so just start right now, just make a vow, you'll let your heart just sing it out, sing it out
And show me everything you've got
I know you're scared
But let your walls just drop
You gotta take that step, and your heart, just let it pour out
And show me everything you've got
I know you're scared
But it's time for you to stop
You gotta take that step, and your heart, just let it make sound
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| argh matey! |
[02 Jun 2006|12:04am] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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imogen heap |
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Leave your name and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours--or you SHOULD but you don't have to...
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| IM IN A PICKLE! |
[01 Jun 2006|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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her space holiday |
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so here is the deal. i went and applied for a job at streamers the restaurant and didnt get called back for a while so i went and applied at einsteins bagels. the same day i apply at einsteins streamers calls me back
so today i went and had interviews at both places and einsteins pretty much gave me the job. they want me to call on tuesday to discuss what days and hours i will be working and see if those hours work for me. after i went there i went to streamers and the lady seemed to like me and wants me to come back and meet her husband tomorrow. she said i seemed friendly and had a pretty smile which is what they like. haha. so ASSUMING (not sure yet) i get both and can choose which one where should i work?
streamers seems like more fun, but i would no longer have nights free and often have to go straight from work to dance/dance to work. but a plus is that i have friends who work there. i would start of being a hostess
einsteins seems convenient because it doesnt interfere with dance in any ways since it closes at 5 being the latest meaning all night si have free, but i might have to work at 5 in the morning some days! hmmmm
its tricky how that worked ...right when i give up on a place they call me and now idk what to do.
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| giving up |
[01 Mar 2006|06:25pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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take a look at me now- postal service |
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well at least i can say i gave it one last shot
but now i completely give up
it doesnt even matter to me anymore
nothing matters right now
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| ill miss you all! |
[22 Dec 2005|11:10pm] |
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Well Friday after school i leave for Ohio. my phone doesnt work there and my grandpa doesnt let people touch his computer so i wont have any way to keep in contact with all of you. he doesnt let people touch teh compouter stereo or tv...not even my grandma. haha. sooo i will miss you all and i hope you have a merry christmas. i will be back on new years eve in time to party it up... so you all better have exciting things planned for us to do that night! haha
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[15 Nov 2005|08:00pm] |
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Hey everyone should come to the....
Danceworkes Concert!
Its in wednesday the 16th and Thursday the 17th
7:00 PM at Gilbert Highschool
If you go you get to see me dressed as a french painter man. haha
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[12 Sep 2005|08:43pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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music |
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queen |
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sooo i pretty much have the most amazing friends in the world! hurray!
today i went to the doctor and he is worried there is still things wrong with my ankle. i have to go for more x-rays and stuff and he is worried he didnt take the injury serious enough cause he thought it was already healing on its own since i didnt go to edoctor until a few weeks after i hurt it! yeah he wished he put a real cast on it or something like that. but im pretty sure its fine and he said hes just being on the safe side.... so hopefully I WONT WEAR MY STUPID BOOT SOON! hahaha
tomorrow we find out if our dances for danceworkes made it..im not sure if i want mine to or not. lol
me and Katie went south of the border for the 2nd time this year. hahaha i love going on trips with her!
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[11 Sep 2005|08:40pm] |
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mood |
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 silly |
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so this weekend was pretty much awesome. i got to see so many people.
i saw all my lovely dance ladies.
hung out with kristine and emma
saw the following people at their works; jenna,luke, craig, and jack,
and i also saw danny and artie at confirmation classes
and saw tons of people at annas b-day such as anna of course, grace katie,danielle, and many many more! and i made new friends there! so hurray!
and guess what.... i love brick from anchorman!
and green apple gum is GOOD!
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| If you ever feel loved or needed, remember that your one of the lucky ones |
[29 Aug 2005|11:05pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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straylight run |
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im miss my parents. its quiet and boring without them. i was so bored today that i cooked cause i had nothing better to do. i made my brother dinner for when he got home from work and i made brownies for friends. what i really should have been doing is my homework. haha
i got to talk to my parents for only 2 minutes because they said phone calls from europe are $8 per minute and they are 9 hours time difference from us. its so crazy.
this school year is way different than i wanted it to be. thank goodness i have kristine though. i couldnt ask for a better friend.
sorry for the pointless entry
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| almost the weekend! |
[18 Aug 2005|02:52pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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ok sorry about all the changes. the dance party is at my house on saturday? i think..maybe lol and idk whats going on on friday. but yeah be there!
haha today ben layed down next to some random kid who was sleeping. it was soooo funny.
and me and katie anderson are P.P.'s haha remember katie?
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[17 Aug 2005|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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what we look like w/strobey on |
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music |
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vanessa carlton |
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just so you all know, the dance partay has been changed to saturday at jess's casa. and everyone is thinking of going bowling or something like that on friday night! hope to see you at both!
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[14 Aug 2005|08:51pm] |
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mood |
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 teehee.. i like this one |
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music |
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rilo kiley |
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im kind of excited to go to school tomorrow. im starting to make new friends and its fun. and i love seeing old friends who i didnt get to see during the summer. and i found my scientific graphing calculator,which is a very good thing and will make math much better. haha
i think i will have a dance party next weekend before jessica dies of being deprived of dancing. i expect to see all of you there and dancing you butts off with STROBEY! haha
p.s. i love kristine sooo much!
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| can you believe it!?!? |
[06 Aug 2005|04:12pm] |
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mood |
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jealous |
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WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? my 3 year old neighbor...yes i repeat 3 years old! just came over to show me her BRAND NEW IPOD! Naishi and i dont even have IPODs yet! crazy spoiled little girl! but she is really cute and funny
and that is my pointless entry of the day!
hasta luego muchachos!
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[02 Aug 2005|05:39pm] |
I AM FINAllY HOME!!!
and school starts next week. UGH
and i missed everyone sooo much especially kristine.
everyone we need to party before school starts! this has to be the best week ever!
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[26 Jul 2005|12:12am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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Hey look these people are from Nova Scott-eee-a!
haha tonight was awesome. i have never had so much fun playing scrabble in my life! and i now know that BOT is a word and Kmars is a new store! yessss
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[25 Jul 2005|11:15am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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yesterday at work there was something small and yellowish-brownish on the floor. it looked like a rubberband so i went to go pick it up and it was really a....SCORPION! dun dun dun! dont worry, i squished it good and then threw it away.
and i leave on wednesday (THE 27TH) for ohio. im going to miss all of you, but i will be back the following tuesday night.
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